KisaIta Christmas Dinner
by elric0sis
Summary: This is the sequel to "Meet The Hoshigaki's" So I hope you enjoy! Rated for language!


AU: Ok! this is a sequel to'Meet The Hoshigaki's' and it's another KisaIta M-Preg!.... So, enjoy!  
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
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Itachi was practically bolting throughout the kitchen, ten clones helping him out. Tonight Kisame's mom and stepfather were going to come to Christmas dinner, so he had to make sure that every single bit of food was perfect! Usually Itachi wasn't worried about company, but then again he never had to cook for such a big, and important, guest list before. There was the Akatsuki, Kisame's parents, Deidara's Uncle, Kakauzu's 'important client', and Hidan's cousin coming over. Great. Now there he was, an overly tired, pregnant, Uchiha running around the kitchen to prepare the dinner for the guests. _'Kisame didn't even come in to help me! Grr......' _Itachi was thinking to himself.

Said shark man was currently in his and his partner's room, frantically pacing. _'Ok. Mom I can handle but if Jerry makes another comment about my Itachi, he's gonna get hell. Oh! But Ita-koi made me promise to be nice....Damn sexy Uchiha..._' Kisame thought to himself. He paced around some more until Konan knocked on the door, breaking the shark away from his thoughts. He opened the door to find one pissed kunichi. "Kisame, what the hell are you doing?! We are trying to get everything ready and you're in here pacing?! Get your ass out there and help us!!!" Kisame quickly ran out of the room and into the living room, ready to do anything to get away from the blue haired woman.

In the base was, least to say, a disaster. Zetsu and Tobi were outside picking up the trash, raking the yard and picking out their Christmas Tree. Well, atleast Zetsu was, Tobi was just bouncing around being an idiot. Hidan and Kakuzu were cleaning the whole base, top to bottom, with the help of Kakuzu's heart monsters, the wind element doing most of the vaccuming and dusting. Pein and Madara were standing in the front of the room, giving orders and being 'supervisors'. Konan ran over to them and gave them the beating of their life times and stuck them with the most dreded task of all. The laundry. Pein and Madara wore smocks, gloves and clothes over their mouths as they did the laundry, finding 'unknown' stains in the crotches of some pants. The most surprising thing they found though was a red and black thong. Konan didn't have a red and black thong. Pein and Madara almost threw up as they threw it into the washer.

Zetsu walked in the front door with a bouncing Tobi behind him, carrying the tree. Deidara and Sasori instantly took the tree from the plant man and set it up in the living room, piling the decorating boxes around it so they were in better reach. Sasori and Deidara, as you probably guessed, were in chare of decorating the tree. The tree was about 10 ft. tall and looked green and lushious. If only it knew what was in store for it. "No, un! We will decorate it with explosions, un! So when everyone is ready, we can blow it sky high, un!" Deidara said, arguing. "No brat. We are going to decorate it artistically with glass ornamens and a beautiful star." Sasori argued. "Hmph! ......Then can we blow it up, un?" ".......ok.......BUT, we get to have sex tonight." ".....fine, un." The tree sweat dropped.

Kisame walked around, trying to find more jobs to do. He already set the table, moved the extra furniture in to accomodate the extra guests, lit a fire in the fireplace, and he prepared the guest bedrooms. There was no way in HELL he was going anywhere NEAR that kitchen when his little, pregnant uke was in a bad mood, that was suicide. So Kisame wandered around until Konan saw him and told him to help Pein and Madara. Kisame almost cried. While Kisame was miserably doing the laundry, he came across something interesting. He found a black collar with white studs in it and a leash that went with it. _'Probably from Kakuzu and Hidan'_Kisame thought and was about to put it in the clean pile when he got an idea. Whoever said that you had to stop having sex when you were pregnant? Kisame had an evil smile as he stashed the collar in his cloak, returning back to his work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(5:00 P.M.)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Akatsuki were exhausted after all of the chores were done. The base was clean, the laundry done, the tree decorated and the dinner cooked. The jobs were barely finished when the first guest arrived, Dediara's Uncle Shoujou, or Shou for short. Shou was a blonde MAN dressed in a sparkling, very exposing, santa dress that hung to his every curve, making him appear to be a woman. Deidara mentally slapped himself and wondered how he could be so stupid as to invite him and Shou ran up to him, hands in the air and kissing his head. "Dei-Dei sweety! How are you? It's been such a long time! Oh! I almost forgot!" Shou reached into his purse and took out a plastic bag. "I brought that dress that you wanted! I'm sorry it took so long, but do you know how hard it is to find this place?! If it wasn't for your bird-thingy I wouldn't have found it at all!" The entire Akatsuki snickered as Shou handed Deidara the dress, earning a death glare from the bomber.

The next to arrive was Hidan's cousin followed by Kakuzu's client. Hidan's cousin Nadih was a splitting image of him except for the fact that he had black hair. Even this jashinest didn't wear a shirt. "Hey Hidan (BEEPER)! How's it (BEEPING) going?" Nadih yelled as he high-fived Hidan. Kakuzu led his client away quickly to Pein's office to talk finances on the Akatsuki's life insurance as the two 'idiot jashinests' caught up with eachother.

The last guests to show up were Kisaem's parents, Mary and Jerry Hoshigaki. Kisame walked up and shook hands with Jerry and kissed Mary on the cheek, welcoming them into their house. Itachi went over and Mary instantly glomped him, rubbing his stomach and saying how skinny he was. The Akastuki sweat dropped and Deidara started laughing at him, only to be smacked over the head with Mary's purse. Jerry grumbled about 'gay fags' and 'stupid babies' and sat down on the couch next to Shou. Jerry started eyeing him and purred, putting his hand on Shou's knee saying, "Hey there sweet cheeks, what's your name?" Itachi and Kisaem just about laughed as Shou replied "Hey hon! My name is Shou!" in his manly voice. Jerry instantly recoiled his hand and bolted across the room into another chair, mumbling something about 'stupid cross dressers'.

Kisame sat on the couch with Itachi on his lap, Kisame playing with his hair as Itachi relaxed against his arm. _'Even when he's pregnant he's still light!'_Kisame said and wrapped his arms around the tiny Uchiha, hugging him to his chest. Jerry glared at them only making Kisame smirk. "Well, who here has a good sex story?" Kisame said, looking around the room, most of them blushing except for a few who were grinning ear to ear. "No one? Well, I'll go first. This story is when I popped my little weasel's cherry-" Kisame got no farther because Itachi promptly slapped a hand over his seme's mouth, his face red with embarrassment. Kisame had just enough time to look over and see that Jerry was officially pissed off. Ha ha, sucker. Nadih shot his hand in the air and started talking really fast. "! Itwasamazing!!!!!" he said, barely audible. The group looked at him with wide eyes except for Hidan who gave him another high five. "(BEEPING) Seriously?! That's (BEEPING) awesome!" The group sweat dropped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Dinner time)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone but Itachi were sitting around at the table, talking and enjoying each others company. The order was: Pein, Konan, Hidan, Nadih, Kisame, Itachi's seat, Sasori, Deidara, Shou, an empty chair, Jerry, Mary, Tobi, Zetsu, Madara and finally another empty chair. Itachi was up serving every body plates of wondrous food. Mashed potatoes, casserole, turkey, roasted pig, macaroni salad, oniguri, rice, and of course water and sake. Itachi brought out the gravy boat with the whitish-grey gravy inside and was pouring everyone's gravy until he got to Jerry. "No thanks, I'd rather not have any gay juices on my already faggish meal." Itachi was already pissed that Jerry had been so rude earlier and on their last visit that he just about had enough. Before anyone could reply Itachi said, "Oh, don't worry. It's only made with 2% cum, so it's not that gay." Everyone spit out their drinks and stared wide eyed at Itachi except for Hidan, Nadih and Kisaem who bursted out laughing. Slowly everyone started laughing at the joke except for Jerry who actually took it seriously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(After Dinner)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner everyone couldn't move from their spots on the couch for they were to full. Itachi sat on Kisame's lap while the shark rubbed his round stomach, soothing the weasel. Jerry glared at the blue hand the whole time, still not believing that the dinner was so good coming from a fag. Kisaem leans up and kisses Itachi deeply, making Jerry almost puke. Everyone sat around while the hyperactive Tobi handed out everyone's presents, one for each. Jerry was surprised to even receive one, already planning on how he could pawn it off.

Pein opened his present first, looking at it with an embarrassed face as Konan smirked. Pein then handed Konan her present that was wrapped in a light blue paper. Konan opened it and blushed madly, slapping Pein then kissing him. Hidan opened his present from Kakuzu and jumped up, showing off to everyone his new thong. "Hell ya! Now I can replace that nasty red one!" he said happily as Jerry, Pein and Madara went pale at the sight. Nadih opened his present to find a new Jashin rosary, practically squeezing Hidan to death in a bear hug. Deidara got a puppet bird from Sasori and Sasori got a clay scorpion from Deidara, both laughing at the coincidence. Shou got a brand new cocktail dress from Deidara and a purse to match and he squealed like a schoolgirl. Zetsu got a picture of Tobi while Tobi got a potted flower from Zetsu. Zetsu was super glomped after that. Mary got a beautiful new knitting set with stainless steel needles and silk to knit with. She hugged Kisame and Itachi, thanking them over and over for the gift. Jerry unwrapped to see that it was a picture of Kisame and Itachi's wedding day, the moment that they kissed. He was so pissed that he would have broken the picture in half if it wasn't for Mary squealing and ripping the photo out of his hands, clutching it to her chest. Itachi unwrapped his present to see that it was a cute, little stuffed shark with a poem that read,

"_You are my light,  
you are my life,  
you are my soul,  
and you matter the most,  
Merry Christmas Angel,  
Kisame"_

Itachi cuddled the plushie to his chest as Kisame opened his present. Inside the box was a stuffed weasel with a photo next to it. The photo was one of the most happiest moments of Kisame's life, when Itachi agreed to marry him and the photo showed the exact moment that Itachi said yes. Kisame looked at the photo lovingly and brought his Angel close, kissing him on top of his head. Jerry scoffed and helped Mary up, ready to walk out the door when Itachi said, "You can stay, we have extra bedrooms for you." Mary squealed and turned to Jerry pulling him with her as they made their way down the hall following Kisame. Kisame opened the door to a room that was, conveniently, under his and Itachi's room. They said goodnight and Kisame walked back to his weasel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Later that night)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone had gone to their rooms and gone to sleep, except for a certain shark and weasel. Mary had long fallen asleep but Jerry stayed wide awake, staring at the ceiling, listening to 'disturbing' sounds. Bumps, shifting and moaning could be heard from the room above him and he couldn't bring himself to fall asleep. Suddenly a cry was heard, "KISAME!" and Jerry's eyes practically popped out of his head at the realization of who was up this late. He started crying in the bed, trying to get the disturbing images out fo his head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(In Kisame and Itachi's room)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kisame held his uke close, listening to the soft pants and breathing coming from the sleeping weasel. _'Heh heh heh, I hope Jerry had one hell of a time. Serves the bastard right.'_Kisame thought as he snuggled next to his uke, falling asleep.

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AU: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't write this one because every time I reread it, I started laughing! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it!


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